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For some reason not a lot of people ask me about this, even when my email address for the past 25 years has been Allmaya, my license plate on my car is ALL MAYA and my user name on most social media sites is Allmaya, I'm surprised at how few people ask me about it. But the few that do ask me are always fun to watch when I tell them. It's like asking a 5 year old what they want to be when they grow up and they answer you with a full rundown of their plans to attend Harvard Medical School and then take up a specialty practice in Neonatal ICU - it just isn't what you expect as a response. Fireman, nurse, teacher, but not the depth of thought maybe. So I thought it was worth a post. Maya is a Sanskrit word that represents the veil of illusion that we perceive the world through - a filter that is our perceptions, judgments and past experiences clouding this reality, changing it, making it in our own vision but changing it along the way from reality to illusion. For most of us the filter is so strong that by the time an experience gets through to us, it resembles nothing like what actually happened. This is why sometimes a situation will be experienced by two people and it is as if they didn't experience the same thing - because they didn't. When I apply this to my own life it helps me to let go of things that upset me, things I don't like, things that don't turn out the way I wanted them to turn out. I hop in my car or I check my email and these words All Maya remind me that whatever I perceive isn't reality - a reminder that it is all an illusion - All Maya - something I made up and my emotional reactions aren't real either. They are merely my reactions to this made up story. It helps put things into perspective. The great thing about this is that I can make up a different reality for anything that happens, I can choose another illusion and a different reaction if I want to. I did this at one time in my life as part of a 22 day intensive course where everyday for 22 days I had to tell my workshop partner my life story, over and over again. But each day I had to change the theme of my life story; one day to be the victim, the next to be the hero, one day my life as a tragedy, the next as a comedy. Let me tell you, after 22 days, I was so sick of my story I didn't ever want to hear it again. And I realized something even more important - it was just a story. It wasn't real. It was the made up things in my mind that were reactions to things that just happened, neither good or bad or happy or tragic, they just were. What a powerful release that was - to see it all as Maya, my own personal illusion that was getting in my way of seeing the world as it truly is. The tarot deck has a powerful figure that represents this concept, the high priestess . She sits in a place of honor with the scroll of our life on her lap. Behind her is the veil of illusion that once we are able to let go of, will reveal to us our true purpose in life. I like this image and she inspires me to let go of these things that stop me from seeing the world and my place in it for what it truly is and what I can truly be - a perfect expression of Spirit. Photo by Haneen Krimly on Unsplash

So, I'm getting to be on a first name basis with Mr. Emerson through my class at The Center for Spiritual Living in Ft. Lauderdale. And I can see why his concepts were so powerful especially in his day. The single most important essay he wrote was the one on Self Reliance . How do you decide what is your genius and what is yourself making excuses for not doing something you don't want to do or maybe it's just a cheap excuse to buck authority? Well, that's the million dollar self reliance question. I think the acid test is in the results of my decisions and actions. If my inner voice tells me to do something and I follow it and in that following I am able to tap into a power greater than my own, then I know I am in the flow with my divine purpose. Ralph's essay goes on to say, " Trust thyself." "Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of our own mind." Still he doesn't give us a clue as to what that might look like and how we might tell the difference. He is a big one for non-conformity. He says, "Whoso would be a man (I assume this is true for women as well), must be a nonconformist." He challenges us to not do something just because it is popular or expected. He asks each one of us to look inside our heart and make our lives from within instead of from without. He also states, "What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think." I've heard that put another way by Wayne Dyer , "What other people think about me is none of my business." (This is very similar to a book published in 1988 by Terry Cole-Whittaker - What You Think of Me is None of My Business ). And yet Emerson said it in more emphatic and passionate terms back in 1926 in his essay on self reliance. Some people think his essay is the best way to describe our great Nation and what made it great and how so many great people have risen from nothing to successes, no matter how you measure success. I only hope I have the courage and inner hearing to know what this means for me, to trust my inner self even if it means non-conformity, to find the strength of character to go beyond worrying about what others think of me and enter my greatness of purpose, even if it isn't socially acceptable. I hope you too my friend can find this as well.

Like any class you attend, if you are lucky you walk away with a few golden nuggets of knowledge. It's the one or two things you learn that keeps you coming back for more. Well life is like that too. Like a class that lasts a lifetime and when you uncover those golden nuggets they tend to be amazing insights that can help you in every situation that comes afterward. This is one of those. What one person feels in a relationship, the other person feels the same way. So what does this mean and how do I know? It means this, if I am in a situation where I feel great, supported, motivated and inspired, chances are good that the other person in that situation feels the same thing. This also works in situations where I feel uneasy, anxious or fearful, chances are excellent that the other person in that situation feels the same. So why doesn't it always appear that way? Because people react differently to the same situation, it doesn't always appear that both people feel the same because their actions are so dramatically different. How do I know this? I can say that each of us are unique and different just like everyone else and the way I demonstrate anger can look dramatically different from the way someone else displays the same feeling. For some, the best defense is a good offense, and others prefer to play the role of the victim. Both are feeling fear but it just looks different in how it manifests. In my experience if two people have an honest and candid conversation they will find that they share the same feelings no matter how different they act. So in any situation even without an open and honest conversation, just know this universal truth and knowing this will help you empathize with your teaching partner on this part of your journey. #lifestyle #decisionmaking #relationships

We as humans increase the knowledge of our species by written and spoken word so I thought that maybe, just maybe I have learned some things in life that might be worth sharing. I also know that by sharing we also remember so life's lessons aren't just fleeting and lost moments that depart as quickly as they arrive. So I will start with the meaning of life, at least as far as I can tell -- To Give and Receive Love. I know we all live our lives as if education, job, power, money, position, title, etc. are what matter in life but in the end whatever job we have, whatever things we have, whoever is in our life are really just vehicles or our stage to do what matters most -- To Give and Receive Love. Anything besides these two acts are temporary illusions, perceptions and judgements that dissolve when our body temple no longer serves us. The only thing that remains is the love that has been given and received. Puppies and dogs know this, they are here to show us how to do what they do so well -- Give and Receive Love, unconditionally and without hesitation. Okay, so maybe you have experienced people who aren't interested in giving you love, as a matter of fact they give you more of a hard time than love. That's just a cry for love on their part. No matter how unlovable they may seem, it is our calling, our purpose, the meaning of life -- To Give and Receive love. I'm writing this to remind myself of this fact, I need the reminder, like everyone, I have more days that I forget than remember the meaning of life. But how much simpler and peaceful my life is when I do remember. My goal is to have those brief moments of remembering - to make each one longer than the last and to make the time between those moments shorter and shorter so that one day I can have that memory be my experience of life. Join me in remembering that the purpose of life is to give and receive love. In Service, Sheryl

Jana Stanfield is one of the best songwriters alive today IMHO and she wrote a song that became the theme for the Girl Scouts of America, "If I Were Brave." You can check it out here: The song is awesome but the answer to the question is tied into what matters most. I think the only thing that stops me from doing what I love most is fear, fear of the unknown, fear of what has gone wrong in the past when I have done it, fear that I won't be good enough, fear that I won't be able to make a living, fear that the world doesn't need what I love most -- telling stories that change people's lives. That's what I would do if I were brave. Like Garrison Keillor on Prairie Home Companion or Dave Barry in his syndicated column, or maybe host a talk show like Bill Maher where I could say exactly what I think and feel and not worry if I offend someone. Maybe on second thought, Garrison's approach would get me fewer death threats. Story tellers, all of them, and they have changed my life. So this blog is my feeble attempt at getting up the courage to finally do what I would do if I were brave. Today a blog with 3 followers, tomorrow an HBO feature. What would you do today if you were brave?

I’m Doing It Wrong! I thought it might be interesting to explore the less obvious sides of being mindful. For: if you already may be meditating through everyday activities like taking a walk. Or: if meditation is a Q&A with God, what happens when that conversation doesn’t go the way you expected? And finally: unmasking the personal meditation fear many faces. Here are words from meditation advocate Jon Kabat-Zinn, creator of the now widely used mindfulness-based stress reduction program, from one of his best-known books: “Meditation Is Not What You Think.” Kabat-Zin writes: “When I am guiding a meditation with a group of people, I often find myself encouraging them to throw out the thought ‘I am meditating.’ Just be awake. No trying, no schedule. No idea even about what it should look or feel like. It indeed is a radical act of love to sit down and be quiet for a time. Sitting down in this way is a way to take a stand in your life as it is right now. However, it is.” Does this sound familiar to you? Do you find yourself worrying about what’s uncontrollable in life? You’ve heard that meditation might help and that it’s good for relieving stress. You feel in your soul that it will be good for YOU! So you decide to commit. You schedule a time to meditate regularly. You pick out a meditation app or a recording, or a book. The scheduled moment comes, and you go to a particular place – a class, maybe out in your garden, or into a specific corner you have set up in your home. You position yourself just right on the floor, or a chair, or the grass. You begin the breathing. You understand that this breathing is so important, that being in this moment so important, and guess what? It’s not working. Why is it not working? Oh dang, why can’t I concentrate? Why am I thinking about what to buy my brother for his birthday, or why does my back feel weird? Where is the insight? Am I sitting the wrong way, wearing the wrong pants? I KNEW I should have bought better meditation clothes; do I need a chime or incense. Why am I so BAD at this? Does this sound familiar to you? When you start a regular meditative practice of any sort, do you get stuck at I am doing this all wrong? Stuck at: I am a failed meditator and not worthy of self-care or personal growth, and I don’t have the spiritual right stuff. You are not alone. People often give up on meditation because they believe they are doing it wrong. I found a surprising number of psychologists, meditation experts, and scientists talking about this. Michael Taft, a meditation teacher, book author, and creator of the “Deconstruct Yourself” podcast, says he believes one of the biggest challenges beginning meditators face is the “I’m bad at this” hurdle. “I’m not sure of the reason for this,” Taft says. He suspects it might be a quirk of our culture. But regardless, he hears it a lot in his classes. Ed and Deb Shapiro, authors of the meditation book “Be The Change,” listed “I’m bad at this” among the top seven excuses people use to give up on meditation. “What IS it about something as simple as sitting still and watching our breath that evokes panic, fear, and even hostility?” the couple writes. Taft and the Shapiros agree that it is impossible to fail at meditation. There is no right or wrong technique, they say. “Even if you just sit for 20 minutes thinking non-stop meaningless thoughts, that’s fine,” the Shapiros say. Which is something, by the way, you wouldn’t know about playing Fort Night or writing out a grocery list, neither of which terrifies us. Taft has found the most common meditating mistake as a teacher: practitioners spend so much energy criticizing themselves, and they make a mess out of it. Or they set impossible expectations, try too hard and undo meditation’s benefits creating a self-defeating stress tornado. Does this sound familiar to you? It sure does to me. Most of my clients are meditation dropouts, and I secretly have been somewhat ashamed, especially when I know so many people who DO meditate and love it. But I never could figure out exactly why I was struggling – until writing this piece revealed the reason. I am convinced that I was doing it wrong. And I realized that is a larger stumbling block for me and maybe for some of you as well. We start many new practices well-intentioned, but we don’t move forward. We expect quick results, a rush of reward, and when it doesn’t happen, we think it’s because we are bad at whatever we are attempting when we are just new to it. Maybe we should try being good to ourselves. Be realistic about our expectations. Honor our willingness to try. Even if something doesn’t feel good, sometimes the very fact that you are doing it means you are doing it right, Michael Taft, the mediation teacher, tells his students. Sometimes, things are uncomfortable. Sometimes, they require new thinking. That’s fine. The important thing is to keep going. This article was written by Diane Lade and is an excerpt from Sheryl's upcoming book, "Turning Adversity into Purpose."

A young boy came across a butterfly cocoon and brought it into his house. He watched for hours, as the butterfly struggled to break free from its encasement. It managed to create a small hole in the cocoon, but its body was too large to emerge. It tired and became still. Wanting to help the butterfly, the boy snipped a slit in the cocoon with a pair of scissors. But the butterfly was small, weak, and its wings crumpled. The boy expected the insect to take flight, but instead, it could only drag its undeveloped body along the ground. It was incapable of flying and soon died. In his eagerness to help the butterfly, the boy stunted its development. He did not know that the butterfly needed to go through the process of struggling to gain strength and fill its wings with blood. It was the struggle that made it strong enough to fly. You may have heard a variation of this story before. The story above is an adaptation from Frank Dupree's book called Metamorphosis . The story reminds us that even if it's hard to cope during the struggle, we need to remember that it’s a necessary evil to grow stronger and build up our wings to take flight eventually. It becomes even more complicated when we have to witness someone we love facing adversity and resist the temptation to make it stop. Just remember the poor butterfly that never got to fly. We all have our bad habits or reptilian brain responses of fight or flight, or some are experts at ignoring the struggle or becoming paralyzed. Whatever your "favorite coping mechanism" is, remember that no matter how familiar it is to you, it is robbing you of the chance to develop your superpower. And if you recall from a previous article (“ Unleash your Superpower”), your superpowers are your gifts and knowledge that are unique in all the world. Our best course of action is to find a way to endure and eventually flourish and, like the butterfly, let the process unfold on its own terms and timeline. Author Robert Tew said it beautifully when he said, "The struggle you're in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow. Don't give up." Adversity comes in many forms Physical Adversity -- a physical disability or injury making you come face-to-face with the frailty of your body. Mental Adversity -- a mental challenge, mental illness or chemical imbalance impacting mental health can be severely limiting and carry a societal stigma that makes it difficult to get help. Emotional Adversity-- this stems from things that have happened -- real or perceived, creating a lack of self-confidence and self-doubt. If we become a slave to “thinking traps” that mainly exist only in our heads, we can be emotionally crippled. Social Adversity -- debilitating social interactions can leave us scarred and unwilling to engage or connect. Spiritual Adversity -- when someone has lost all hope or faith in the belief that life is good (hence the T-Shirts and mugs that read “Life is Good). Financial Adversity-- one of the most visible adversities, especially when it causes loss of food stability, eviction or homelessness. So how do you overcome adversity? I started working this summer as a mental health coach for Lyra Health and witnessed first-hand how critical it is to control how individuals frame things that happen. When faced with a crisis, it can seem impossible, at the moment, to imagine the experience will lead to growth and wings. But adversity forces us to reach out for help, create social connections, and realize that we do not need to overcome our struggles on our own. Adversity also can help us take a step back and positively reframe the problem, which can significantly impact our ability to overcome a negative situation. Catching negative self-talk and replacing it with your highest values can help guide you through the hardship and move you toward your goal rather than undermine it. Enter resilience, stage right And one of the most important outcomes of overcoming adversity is resilience. Resiliency can make us feel we have a little more mastery in life. Resilience is a person's ability to bounce back from adversity and grow from the challenge. Research now shows that overcoming past adversity can help you persevere in the face of everyday stress. The definition of resilience is a successful adaptation and recovery following exposure to stressful or potentially traumatic life events or life circumstances. Thus, it involves both the capacity to maintain a healthy outcome following exposure to adversity and the ability to rebound after a negative experience. Tips for overcoming adversity Here are key tips for overcoming adversity to get to resiliency sooner, learned from my counseling: Make friends with your sense of humor. Good belly laughs release endorphins and dopamine, nature's feel-good chemical. I often say that if I don't laugh, I will probably cry, so laughing makes me feel better. Know that adversity offers valuable insights because it’s a great teacher. When you have a growth mindset – you see fear, uncertainty and doubt as indicators that growth can be right around the corner. When you believe that growth is available, you can look forward to getting to the other side of any adversity. Name it – studies have shown that naming your emotions can reduce their intensity by 50%. Naming our emotions can be most powerful when used in conjunction with making peace or embracing them (see next tip on the list). Make peace with the situation and embrace your emotions. Use all your energy to propel yourself forward, not blaming, shaming or denigrating. Being focused on the wrong things like fear, uncertainty, and doubt. Live on purpose. Find and know your values because they are key to your superpowers in how they are unique to you. Values act as your inner compass and bring back the meaning of your life that frequently gets lost in your emotional response to adversity. Values help you identify what's important and act on it so you can move away from simply reacting to thoughts and emotions. They also sustain and motivate you when doing something challenging, such as experiencing a difficult emotion or being uncomfortable learning a new behavior. Believe in your abilities to overcome. If you believe, then it will surely come. Walt Disney was fired from his first job for lack of creativity. He never stopped believing in himself or his dreams. In Roy Disney’s own words, "All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me… You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you." Adversity always comes bearing gifts So, when you do finally overcome adversity, there are significant payoffs or benefits as a reward for your bravery and courage, including: Increased empathy and a deepening of relationships More overall growth itself – providing hope and faith in the wonder of life can trigger post-traumatic growth instead of being trapped in PTSD Improved self-confidence More gratefulness -- it helps you realize and appreciate more of the good in your life New skills to reframe stress at any moment, increasing overall happiness from better coping with all levels of stress Awareness of new paths never known or considered I want to end with words from author and poet Maya Angelou. "We may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated. It may even be necessary to encounter the defeat so that we can know who we are."

When I was a teenager in high school I decided I wanted to be a songwriter when I grew up. It didn't hurt that nearly all of my "boyfriends" during that phase of my life were musicians, singers, guitar players or drummers. So I kept a notebook with all of my budding song ideas. And one notebook turned into two, then three and then six or seven by the time high school was said and done. The problem was that all of my "songs", I use the term loosely as they were more like badly rhyming poems without music, were so depressing that anyone trying to put them to music would probably end up committing suicide. Why in the world anyone would want to put that depressing dribble to music is beyond me now, but at the time I thought I was on to something. It is true of many songs and songwriters that they write their best songs when the going gets tough, the songwriters start writing. But I couldn't write a "don't worry, be happy" song to save my life. The problem was, when life was good who wanted to stop living long enough to commit it to a song - it was more fun to be in the moment. But when life sucked, writing a song about it was like therapy, it somehow helped you be in that moment and extract something worthwhile from it, with the word "worthwhile" being in the ears of the beholder. I remember that I loved the songwriters more than the singers or the musicians. I loved Carol King more than James Taylor for You've Got a Friend, Leonard Cohen more than KD Lang for Hallelujah - heck I loved everything Leonard Cohen wrote and he couldn't sing for his life. Same with Bob Dylan, it was the words not the sound quality that always touched me. And I fell in love with these songwriters, those willing to bear their souls to the world and have it put to music for everyone to hear and know. So you might have guessed, I didn't grow up to be a songwriter but I thought it might be fun to dig out one of those old songs and dust it off, do what I always wanted to do, share it with the world. So here goes: Nothing More Than You Silently and softly I steal across your mind. I do not wish To devour time But only to touch it. At this moment I think There is nothing More to life Than you. There are other things That keep screaming In my mind. But I don't need to listen Our whispered thoughts Are enough. At this moment I think There is nothing More to life Than you. Don't die in front of My reality. I'm tired of reaching out To touch And seeing things disappear. At this moment I think There is nothing More to life Than you. Keep me In your thoughts At least. Each year, less But keep me somewhere. At this moment I think There is nothing More to life Than you. Now if there's anyone out there that feels compelled to put these words to music, just contact my agent and I'm sure we can arrange something. That is as soon as I get an agent :-) Hallelujah. This post is dedicated to Cheryl P, the one that spells her name wrong. The same one that shot the photo below.

The illusion that something is good or bad is usually only a matter of perspective. There is a great parable that illustrates this point. It is about a man whose son captures a beautiful, wild horse. His family and friends say to him, how wonderful, what a great skill your son has, how lucky he is and the father only responds, we will see. When the son is thrown from the horse and breaks his leg, his family and friends all say how terrible it is and what a curse the horse is and the father responds, we will see. So when the military comes into town to gather up all of the able-bodied boys to march off to war, his friends and family say how wonderful it is that your son's leg was broken and that he was spared military service and his father responds...you guessed it, we will see. So the moral of the story is that no matter how good or bad something may appear at the time, it is only perspective that allows us to see a broader meaning or reason for that thing to occur in our life. The thing itself is neither bad or good, only our perception changes bad to good or good to bad. Said another way, we would all be much happier and healthier if we could remember this at times when things appear to be going badly, or even in times when they appear to be going well so we don't get stuck in our mistaken perception. Although I don't want to give up my joyful times, I certainly could do with some perspective in my less than joyful or sorrowful times. I experienced this lesson when I was quite young faced with a daunting decision at the age of 15. I found myself pregnant, in a relationship with a heroin addict and living in government subsidized housing. My mother insisted that I go to a convent to have my baby and then give it up for adoption. I knew this would be the end of my education and that I would soon follow in her footsteps and never make it to college even though it was always my dream. I ran away and was picked up by the police after a few days of living on the streets. I spent several hours speaking with the Catholic Priest who was on call at police headquarters until my mother arrived to pick me up. The Father convinced my mother that she should honor my request to terminate the pregnancy and after she recovered from being told by a man of the cloth to allow an abortion, she agreed. So off I went to New York (this was just before Roe versus Wade legalized it nationwide) alone, afraid and feeling like my life was over in so many ways. I managed to recover and found new meaning in my life once I was relocated to my grandparents' care. Only a short year later, I was instrumental in starting a community crisis hot line and high school peer counseling center where I personally helped hundreds of girls just like myself through the tough choices of teenage pregnancy. I was able to share the terrible truth of a decision to have an abortion and I know that I had a tremendous impact on those that sought my advice. I also know that I was a role model for girls who thought that suicide was their only choice as their life looked to be too terrible to bear. I assured them that it was only a matter of perspective and that eventually they too would see how this event could positively impact their life or the lives of those they touched. What a wonderful gift this experience was in that it shaped me to be able to return the gift to those in need. And this event continued to impact my life as I entered college. My training and experience as a peer counselor prepared me for my application to become a resident assistant in the college dorm at Michigan State University. I was uniquely qualified for this position and securing it was a tremendous help as I paid my own way through college. Being a resident assistant covered the costs of room and board and was yet another sign that what happened to me wasn't a curse after all. These events help me to remember in the midst of something that appears to be terrible, it only seems so because I don't yet have the perspective that will help me see it differently. I try to imagine that I am standing in front of a tree so close that I can't even see that it is a tree yet. And then I imagine slowly backing away from the tree, allowing distance and light to enter my field of vision, allowing me to finally see the situation clearly. This helps me have the patience to gain the perspective for whatever seems terrible to take on its true meaning in my life. Even if it might take months or years to get there, I trust that it will come. And this trust makes it easier to bear in the present moment and helps me embrace those terrible moments. Photo by Eddie Kopp on Unsplash

Photo by Oliver Roos on Unsplash Tragedy has a way of getting your attention and shaking you to your core. As an as individual, you may be facing extended isolation, the loss of a job, family illness or the death of a loved one. These jolts to the system can stop you in your tracks, make you question your values and priorities and challenge the choices you have made and continue to make daily. If that’s the case, don’t be alarmed. You’re not drowning. And you’re not alone. You’re having a natural reaction. The bigger question is: do you want to take the time to go deeper to explore how to get past this fear and anxiety brought on by COVID-19? Because if you do, the reward could be your chance to make significant changes in your life so you can live how you were meant to live, both personally and professionally. In other words, it’s time to learn how to sing your song. Don’t be Afraid to Look for Your Song To learn how to sing your song, where do you start? I recommend taking three key steps. First, take a look at the book, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It’s one of those classic books that nearly everyone reads at some point in their life. I seem to remember reading it 10+years ago. A few months ago, it somehow appeared at the top of my Audible library list when I was searching for something else. Books only come to the top of your list if you open or download them or have some recent interaction. I had not knowingly clicked on the book, yet there it was right at the top of my reading list. This was the equivalent of a book jumping off the bookshelf and landing at your feet. So, I followed the sign and re-read the book. The book tells a charming fictitious story of Santiago and the search for his “personal legend.” You join him as he faces his fears, loses everything, overcomes obstacles, falls in love and still follows the signs and omens that deliver him back home to where his “treasure” has always been waiting for him. Through this we learn that the journey is much more than the destination. There are so many beautiful lessons and people that he meets along the way. His willingness to follow his “personal legend” inspires those he meets to do the same. It doesn’t hurt that he is successful, and he gets the girl in the end. But along the way, the story inspires us to follow the signs in our own lives toward our own “personal legend.” The second step to learning how to sing your song is to really listen to the small quiet voice within you because your song can be found only in one place, within. Ask yourself, “What is it that brings me joy? What ignites my passion?” There are many paths to the source of your song, including meditation, prayer, selfless service, nature, inspirational readings, music, dance and immersing yourself in the love of family and friends. And then plunge into those experiences. Watch for the signs and signals, keeping your mind and heart open. What do they tell you about your song? The third step is to identify where you are going in the distance, something I call the castle, and then define the first step you plan to take in the direction of this new destination. In my practice, I use something I call creative manifesting to hold the vision of the castle firmly in mind, to unite with that vision of myself and then feel what it will be like to finally arrive back at my authentic self. What It’s Like to Sing Your Song When you start to sing your song, you feel a clarity of intention and the draw of intense attention. Beautiful music requires a singular focus. It’s impossible to sing with your mouth full, or your attention divided between different melodies. You can only listen and sing one song. Yours may require you to let go of things that are disharmonious or things that no longer serve you. Or you might change your focus to that which brings you the most joy and fulfillment. Your song may start faintly, like a warmup before the show starts. It can lead up to a prelude before the main act, appear in exactly the right place and right time in your story, and then end with the crescendo of You living and breathing your life’s purpose. That is what we all want in the end, to have satisfied our life’s purpose, with our song playing loudly in our life, and for those who we are here to serve. Can you afford not to find you song? I know the world will be a better place when you find it, and your happiness may depend on it. How I Found My Song in the Midst of COVID When I was reading “The Alchemist”, I learned that life was pushing me into my next adventure. And I moved toward it despite confronting personal difficulties along with this historic pandemic that we all continue to face. At the same time, a dear friend of mine tells me she wants to hire me as her Life Coach and formalize the work we have been doing together informally and sporadically. I thought I was being a good friend and doing what I always do with my team, staff, volunteers, family, and friends; listen and hold them in the highest vision of themselves. The request for me to be a Life Coach led me to take a 30-hour intensive workshop and become a Certified Life Coach. During the class, it became clear to me that helping people find their “personal legend” resonated as an excellent descriptor of what I strive for when coaching my friends or colleagues. These words were inspired by “The Alchemist.” The name, Personal Legend Coaching, and website URL were available, and I took the plunge. I am now on a path where I am doing what comes naturally to me, helping others see the best in themselves. I will leave you with my favorite quote from the book: “The boy didn't know what a Personal Legend was. It's what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is. At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their Personal Legend.” Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist. Your Personal Legend is your mission on earth along with the journey back to yourself. As terrible as the world events seem right now, good will emerge, especially for those who decide to examine how they live their lives and listen to the signs the universe is sending.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash Meditation, as practiced for thousands of years, has provided support for the mental, physical and spiritual well-being of practitioners. Comprehensive studies have proven positive benefits to include alleviation of stress, anxiety and pain. Studies also show expanded creativity, improved memory, greater ability to focus and more balanced emotions. It’s also scientifically proven that that those who meditate on a regular basis, have more gray matter in the prefrontal cortex, and who doesn’t want more gray matter? However, there is a wide range of beliefs over “how to do it right” and trepidation over meditating correctly and staying focused during meditation. So. let’s first dispel the idea that there is a “right” or “wrong” way to meditate. This is like saying there is a right or wrong way to live your life. Only you know the way that is right for you, so I encourage you to experiment. Find the ways and places and methods that ring true for you. How you do it isn’t important. It’s saying to yourself and to spirit, “this is important to me.” You can even practice meditating each time you use the microwave or toaster oven, or find yourself waiting for coffee to brew, standing in line or on hold or engaged in any other potentially mindless activity. Focusing the Mind I like to think of meditation as nothing more than “focus” training. We know from research that a wandering mind lacks focus. Left to its own devices, the mind will wander around, obsessing on things that are unimportant, and in some cases self-destructive thoughts. In meditation, we are telling the mind that there is something greater than ourselves, and we direct the mind to let go of petty grievances, to focus on things that really matter in life. Your mind will thank you for shutting down the endless babble that neither satisfies nor contributes to your happiness or true purpose. Second, the benefits of meditation are cumulative. Anytime you can capture time to meditate on something meaningful is like making a deposit into your spiritual bank account. The peace and focus you develop will add up like compound interest, and one day you will realize that this focused time is like oxygen for your soul, providing insight and energy for your real purpose to reveal itself and to be fulfilled. Each person is a unique being, and your meditation should reflect that uniqueness. For example, we each experience the world differently and will react differently. Some are visual and therefore may respond better to guided visualizations that paint a wonderful picture of an idyllic location. Others are auditory and respond to sounds of nature, transformative music or the sound of crystal bowls tuned to the perfect pitch. In my case, I am kinesthetic, and I experience the world and meditation through my feelings, ideally ones of peace, connection and love. My Practice Here’s how my path in meditation began. When I went took certification classes for pranayama and hatha yoga at the Integral Yoga Institute located in Yogaville, Virginia, I initially was trained in meditation, breathwork, chanting and co-creation. At the ashram, we had the luxury of time and focus to rise at sunrise, spend an hour in seated meditation and then another hour at sunset doing the same. What an indulgence to focus for a month solely on one’s body, mind and breath. I am going to share my current daily practice, not because I think you should mimic it, but to see how I personalized my practice for my situation. I hope you will be encouraged to develop your own unique practice of meditation. After years of trial and error, I finally have a system that keeps me focused. Your system should be as personal as the clothes you wear, or the way you walk or talk. Try different practices on for size, and then develop one that works for you. Part One The first part of my meditation normally takes 8-10 minutes. The biggest distractor for me is my emotions, and how they make me feel, I currently start by reciting the poem “The Guest House” by Rumi (see below). I’ve said it so many times, that it is now committed to memory. I focus on feeling and applying the words of the poem to calm my emotions and negative feelings inside of me. I am passionate about things that I feel are important, so emotions get most of my attention, which is not always good for my attention and focus. The Guest House by Rumi ​ This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. ​ A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. ​ Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. They may be clearing you out for some new delight. ​ The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. ​ Be grateful for whatever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond. This poem by Rumi helps to quiet and tame my emotions so that I can focus my energy on what matters most. I then do an “affirmative visualization.” During this part of my meditation, I visualize the future that I want to I create and imagine that it is already so. I experience what the outcome looks and feels like, and then give thanks for that outcome, because I know in my mind and soul it has already come to pass. Doing this sets the stage for me to accomplish something great in my life and sets the focus for my intention. Part Two During the remaining 10-12 minutes, I focus on three words: existence, consciousness and bliss. These words are translated from an ancient Sanskrit mantra from Deepak Chopra in his 21-day abundance meditation challenge. I say these words repeatedly. If I get distracted by sounds or other thoughts, I gently go back to the three words and begin again. This is what’s known as a mantra. I try to feel each word as I repeat it. Most mantras are auditory. In my case, I am also using the words to evoke a feeling of focus. I strive to feel each word to the fullest: · My existence as experienced by my body and where it touches the earth and things of the earth · Consciousness in my connection to something greater than just myself and my small view of the world · Bliss or the place I strive for as heaven on earth in my experience of life Most of the time I use a noise canceling soundtrack with nature sounds, flowing water, chirping birds or wind chimes. Having the white noise allows me to stay focused inwardly and stops me from being distracted by every creak in the house. Maybe once or twice a year, I will spice up my practice by following one of Deepak Chopra’s 21-day challenges, however, this is more the exception than the rule. Again, there simply is no right or wrong way to meditate, but you can see how I have adapted my meditation practice specifically to me, my quirks, my inclinations, and my personal preferences. You should do the same. To help find your groove, go meditation shopping and have fun with it. If you find this beneficial, take the next step and explore meditation teachers or apps on the list below: • Dan Harris – 10% Happier • Sharon Salzberg – Loving Kindness • Deepak Chopra – 30-day Meditation Challenges • Jon Kabat-Zin – Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction • Insight Timer App – www.insighttimer.com • Calm App - www.calm.com Let’s Get Started I invite you this week to practice Microwave Meditations. During these precious moments when you’re waiting for the microwave or on hold for another activity, do your best to shut down conversations your mind may be having, and use the time to mindfully make a momentary connection with something greater than your earthbound self. I like to make a mental connection by visualizing a peaceful white light streaming into me from above. You can sit or stand quietly with this connection until the timer dings, the alert sounds or the hold music stops. Then, write a few sentences at the end of each day to capture how this made you feel or document anything that is revealed to you because of this focus training. Meditation is one of the greatest secrets of all time, and yet not enough people try it,

This is one thing I know for sure; you cannot be unhappy if you feel gratitude in your heart. Gratitude is like a magic elixir that soothes any sadness or pain you might be feeling because it puts life’s strains into perspective. When we focus and obsess on something negative, it tends to take over our consciousness and becomes larger than life and larger than anything going on around it. Even when you have a truly catastrophic issue in your life, focusing on gratitude can shift your focus and ease your pain. I ask anyone on my team who comes to me with an urgent or terrible problem at work or in their life, “Compared to world hunger, how does this compare?” When you think about 25,000 people starving to death daily, the challenges we face are truly developed-world problems. This frame of reference will provide the peace of mind to better face and solve your problem. Anyone who feels a life isn’t worth living or too terrible to face should volunteer for a cause that helps people who are battling a potentially life-threatening disease or are struggling to meet their basic life needs. A selfless act moves your focus away from you. No matter what someone is facing, there is always someone who may have greater needs. For parents out there, if you have a teenager suffering from hormone poisoning (the term I use to describe the rollercoaster ride know as puberty) and is subject to peer pressure, a quick reminder of what you have to be grateful for will improve the picture. How to Adopt an Attitude of Gratitude The trick here is to catch yourself before you slip into a “pity party.” Yes, terrible things do happen to nice people, but in my experience, they happen to help us develop empathy and compassion and to build the muscles needed to succeed in life. Always be ready to stop the “pity party” with an attitude of gratitude. Your life is what you focus on, and if you focus on gratitude and make it your mantra, then more happiness and a greater realization of all that you already have washes over you. If you focus on what is ailing you and what makes you sad, you bring more of it to your life like a magnet. The Gratitude Journal One way to increase your focus on gratitude is by starting a Gratitude Journal. A Gratitude Journal can be as simple as a pad of paper or as elaborate as a jewel encrusted leather-bound diary. Before you retire for the night, make a list of three to five things in your life or from the day that you are thankful for. These items do not have to be major accomplishments, and you can repeat the same thoughts over and over. If nothing immediately comes to mind, you can record items such as clean drinking water and food to eat. In the words of Mahatma Gandhi, "I cried because I had no shoes, then I met a man who had no feet." In addition to writing in a Gratitude Journal, also take the time to tell your life partner, roommate or even your dog or cat something about them that you are grateful for. Do this each day. This gratitude technique works miracles with your team at work, at church or at play because we often do not share real gratitude. Instead, we tend to share constructive feedback, goals and challenges. Delivering daily heartfelt gifts of gratitude can feel better than a promotion or a raise and can have longer lasting impact on the recipients and your connection with them. Adopt both habits for at least 30 days. Then evaluate and record the impact on your attitude and your relationships. Remember, the goal is to add more happiness and meaning to your life and you can best do this by spreading it around, from family members, friends and colleagues to the check-out person at the grocery store. Be generous with your gifts and watch them come back to you in more ways than you can imagine. Words of Gratitude ​ After your 30-day trial with the Gratitude Journal, try taking gratitude to the next level. This level is called Words of Gratitude, and it entails four crucial steps. Make a list of at least 3-5 people who have had a positive impact on your life. They can be someone you know and love, someone you admire from a distance, someone who may have transitioned, or someone who has no idea who you are. The goal of this exercise is for you to recall and record those feelings of gratitude, and if possible, share them with this person. If they have transitioned, they will still get the message, and you will still experience the lasting impact of sharing your gratitude. Your list of people can include those frontline workers who make your life better by just doing their jobs. People like the Amazon delivery person or the U.S. mail carrier, a nurse or the receptionist at the dentist. With your list in hand, pick one lucky recipient. Open a Notepad, Word document or your Gratitude Journal and start recording the things you are grateful for about this person. Describe the impact the individual had on your life, how they changed you for the better or how they were there for you when you needed them most. Absorb the gratitude you have for their impact in your life. Be as specific as possible. Try to write at least 300-500 words. The next step is to schedule a time to deliver your words of gratitude, preferably in person. If the person does not live nearby, a Zoom or Facetime call works. If the person is someone you cannot schedule a video call with, then record your words of gratitude using your phone. Be sure to say the individual’s name out loud, especially if the person has crossed over. By simply saying the name, you will affirm that the person left a mark on you and the world and that their name lives on. The reason I recommend you make it “live” on video or in person is that much of what we say is non-verbal, and the person you are grateful for deserves to hear 100% of the message. If the person has transitioned or is someone you do not know well enough to meet with, then think about posting your Words of Gratitude with the bigger world or with someone they left behind. This exercise is for YOU so you can create the opportunity to share heartfelt gratitude, to relive it in your life and to make it real and relevant to your current situation. If delivering it live and in person or recording a video is a non-starter for you, then send a written letter instead. Finally, after you have delivered your words to the person, then write down the same sentiment and send it in an email or letter. This final step provides the recipient with a gift of warmth and kindness that they can use when they need a boost of happiness and meaning in their own life. Then rinse and repeat until you get through your list of people you are grateful for, just in time to create another list of 3-5. I can guarantee that your heart will be a happy place and at least 3-5 other people will be able to feel the same thing. What are you waiting for, afraid of too much happiness?